Some weeks later, A and Plain Ol' Me meet. The Logic Commissioners have appointed a sub-committee on "Occupational Health and Safety in Logic" to ensure that no one misuses such a dangerous tool as logic, and that only those who are properly licensed do so. After all, people are dying out there! A has some surprising news.
A: Well, look who it is! Up to your old tricks again? You social saboteur!
Me: Well, my dear A, what a surprise! I'm never up to any "tricks" as you call it, I merely try to live in peace and harmony, with God, man and nature--to understand people and the world around me. For the most part I only act in self-defense--against the "do-gooders" when, under the pretext of acting in my own best interest, or for the greater glory of the social good, they see fit to attack me, using high sounding words about my own good and safety as an excuse to confiscate my property. Why, I find that ludicrous! How can they know what's in my best interest any better than I do? How can confiscating my property, and making me poorer, really make me better off? But tell, me, I've heard that you have changed your fortune for the better.
A: Yes, I have! Do you remember my friend, poor ol' B?
Me: But of course! How is he? Out of the hospital I hope!
A: He's a whining simpering idiot thanks to you! But all that is going to change! We are going to be safe! There are going to be regulations against activities like yours! Our children are going to be safe! There will be stop lights, air bags, consistency and ...
Me: Ahhh! Now I remember! You were appointed head of the Committe on Occupational Health and Safety in Logic! You are going to make the regulations that keep women and children safe-- from people like me!
A: Yes! And I have just passed the logical seat-belt regulation! No one may use logic without a permit! And that includes smart-asses like yourself, even if they did once teach at the logic-police academy!
Me: And pray tell, how do you intend to enforce such a ludicrous regulation?
A: This time it will be easy, the solution is meta-logical, and meta-mathematical--I'll just take out my gun and I'll shoot you. You won't have the time to confuse me! You'll be dead, dead, dead!!
Me: Oh, how droll, droll, droll! How insipid! How, unimaginative! You sound like some social do-gooder, some overly sanctimonious suction pump, perhaps even a member of the National Education Association, or a small college administrator, or even a public school teacher. You know, of course, it will never work!
A: Hah, like hel... What do you mean?
Me: Well, I see you have the standard fall-back of the bureaucrat at your side--a nice big pistol. Have you ever thought about what would happen if you tried to pull the trigger?
A (somewhat angrily): Stop playing me for an idiot, I'm a government official, a regulator of reason. Show me some respect--I'm important. We don't carry guns, that would be intolerant. What you see here is a SOCIAL STABILIZER!
Me (quite sarcastically): Oh! Forgive me! I forgot your new catch phrase, "Consistency is a warm Social Stabilizer." I suppose there's nothing more consistent than a dead man. But I doubt you'll ever know.
A (angrily): What the hell are you getting at--punk. I use to like you, even found you mildly amusing. Now you're nothing but a criminal, a mental criminal, committing mental crimes with your mental thoughts. Only a criminal would think about breaking the law, and only a criminal would break the law by thinking! In fact, this is exactly what a "hate" crime is--Thinking against the government!! You're nothing but a hate-criminal!! All your peace-words about living in harmony with man, nature and ... what's his name ...
Me (cooly): 'God'.
A (angrier): ... yes, 'God'. What crap, you sound like some unstable hold-over from the 70's preservation society--a damn hippie--only you don't wear bell-bottomed trousers ...
Me (very cooly): ...they're egregious and tasteless...
A (even angrier): ... tasteless? What the hell does it matter ...
Me (even more cooly): ...and I always thought they were, even during the hey-day of the 70's preserva...
A (really angry): Who the hell cares, I've had enough, I'm going to stabilize you right now so grandmothers all over the world will be safe, So women will forgo silicone breast implants and our mammary milk will be safe, so ...
Me: So, shoot, or rather, "stabilize"-- if you're able.
A: And just why the hell wouldn't I be able, Mr. Reason--unbound?
Me: Well, Suppose you pull the trigger, mustn't the bullet first travel one half the distance between the gun--oops--stabilizer muzzle and me?
A: Why yes, of course!
Me: But prior to reaching the halfway point, must it not reach the one quarter point?
A: So?...So what????
Me: But, then, it must first have crossed the 1/16th point, correct?
A: Ye...Yeaaahhhh???? Sooooo....?
Me: But of course, that means it first crossed the ...
A: Yes, damn it, the 1/32nd point, but... but... [thoughtfully] it couldn't do that...unless it first crossed the 1/64th point ...
Me: So I think you see my point plainly ...
A: ...unless it first crossed the 1/128th point, but... it couldn't do that...
Me: You do see it don't you?
A (intently): ...unless it first crossed the 1/256th point...
Me: I say, A, you do see it?
A: ... the 1/1024th point...unless...
Me: A, are you there? A, can you hear me? A!
A: ... the 1/4096th point...unless....
Me: Well, I suppose you are just too preoccupied right now. I shall leave you to your calculations. Perhaps we shall have occasion to chat another day, after you've had a chance to rest.
A (staring blankly): ...the 1/16384th point...unless...
