Christmas

December 17, 2001

Getting Ready for Christmas

With Christmas falling on a Tuesday and the weekend immediately preceding it
over scheduled already, we decided to devote the preceding weekend to some
serious holiday preparation.

Saturday was dedicated to Christmas cookies. My wife spent a long day mixing
and kneading dough, then cutting out seventeen dozen sugar cookies. Although
I understand the positive aspects of cultural diversity and respect the
views of its advocates, there are times when I am glad that my wife and I
stem from similar cultural roots. We both have fond memories of our mothers
baking Christmas cookies, and decorated sugar cookies were prominent in both
kitchens.

This year we made five different shapes -- small wreathes, large wreathes,
camels. Christmas trees, and bells. The small wreathes are simple circles,
cut out with a doughnut cutter. My job was to decorate them.

Years ago we were able to get red and green icing in aerosol cans that were
relatively easy to use. More recently the cans have been replaced by tubes,
which require "a man and a boy" to squeeze out their contents. Last year I
resorted to soaking the tubes in warm water in an effort to make things a
little easier.

This year our elder daughter, Elizabeth, found a new version of the cans in
St. Louis, and sent them to us. They were remarkably easy to use. I will
make an effort to introduce them to our Giant Eagle, although my efforts at
influencing them have seldom been fruitful. I am sure the Steelers will be
able to handle the St. Louis Rams in the Super Bowl (after all, they
originally were the Cleveland Rams), but I hope we don't have to compete
with St. Louis in the cake decorating Olympics.

Back to the small wreathes. Decorating required a ribbon of green icing
around the circle, and the addition of red cinnamon "Decors" to represent
holly berries. There was an internal family debate about the proper number
of Decors. I was instructed to use three, but disobeyed and settled on four,
equally spaced.

The large wreathes are much more complicated. The pattern suggests a bow at
the top, with ribbons hanging down in front. One swath of red icing across
the top, and two separate ones down the front, followed by half circles of
green on either side, to represent the wreathe itself.

Christmas trees were outlined with green icing, with Decors at the top and
along the sides (number provided at the discretion of the decorator) to
represent lights. Bells and camels were also outlined with green icing,
often in a surrealistic pattern (due to poor execution, not artistic
license).

The census report indicates twelve camels, twelve bells, twenty one large
wreathes, forty eight Christmas trees, and one hundred eleven small
wreathes. A long day, but one that provided the reward of seeing the dining
room table completely covered with decorated cookies.

Sunday was "put up the tree" day. My first task was to rearrange furniture
in the living room and make space for my train boards (three boards each
four feet square). The tree will sit in the middle of the middle board.

Our tree has been sitting outside the side porch for several weeks, still
encased in the plastic chicken wire that was put around it so we could
transport it home. I dutifully sawed a small piece off the bottom of the
trunk and stuck the tree in water, to extend its life.

In the past I have mounted the tree in its holder while it was outside, then
struggled to get it indoors and set upright. Years ago my wife concluded
that I was counterproductive to her Christmas tree shopping, and has elected
to select each year's tree by herself. The good news is that it saves me
from a (usually) chilly chore; the bad news is that her taste in trees is
impeccable. Each year she manages to find a lovely, full tree that is
virtually impossible to move once it has been mounted.

This year I decided to change my routine and to attempt to mount the tree in
its holder, right at its final resting place. We brought the encased tree
into the living room, set it up on the holder, tightened the restraining
bolts, and (only then) removed the plastic encasement. Thanks to good
weather and my wife's patience with me, we actually got it in place and
properly aligned without the usual amount of complaints on my part.

Our decorations are stored on the third floor in (allegedly) well marked
storage boxes. Nonetheless when they are transported down to the living
room, there are always a few items which cannot be located. I am responsible
for stringing the lights. Makes sense, as I am substantially taller and
supposedly understand mysterious things like electricity.

Once that task was done, I was sent to the basement to clean out our fish
tank. We support seven large goldfish, who live in a pond outdoors in the
warm weather and in a large tank in the basement once it gets cold. This
tank appears to be ideal for the production of algae; a bumper crop every
eight weeks or so. I milked this assignment long enough to be sure most of
the hard work was done in the living room, then snuck up to check.

Sure enough, the room had been transformed into a Christmas wonderland. The
tree is gorgeous and covered with ornaments, each of which is full of
significance and tradition. And the rest of the room includes numerous
artifacts that recall previous years and each of the members of our extended
family.

And once again, I say a silent prayer of thanks that I have been fortunate
in finding a mate who is as psyched up about Christmas as I am.