The 2004 Great Guinness Toast Examination

Last modified: Tue Feb 24 15:10:46 2004
Please use a "#2 pencil" to fill in the appropriate answers on your "napkin". Pick the best answer that completes each sentence. Some answers may seem right, but your job is to pick the best answer. Good luck!

Your name:
  1. I did it all for [the] ________.
    (a) love of country
    (b) you (McD's)
    (c) man
    (d) nookie
  2. Shucka-con ____ _____.
    (a) Mi Familia (My Family)
    (b) John Con
    (c) corn husk
    (d) rocka jocka
  3. A hummer is a(n) _______.
    (a) milkshake
    (b) SUV
    (c) blowjob
    (d) all of the above
  4. Politics ________.
    (a) are cool
    (b) are tiresome
    (c) suck
    (d) b & c
    (e) schmolitics
  5. Ja, du hast ______.
    (a) wrecked
    (b) Ja Rule
    (c) recht
    (d) breast
    (e) alles gut (ausgezeichnet)
  6. Ich bin ein ______.
    (a) Berliner
    (b) arschloch
    (c) Yankee
    (d) Republican
    (e) jelly donut
  7. Once I rose above the noise and confusion, just to get a glimpse _______.
    (a) at his hairy ass
    (b) at Janet's pasty
    (c) beyond this illusion
    (d) at Spider-Man 2
  8. One bourbon, one scotch, one ________.
    (a) Bush
    (b) beer
    (c) Brit
    (d) fear
    (e) hangover
  9. What I got, you gotta get it _________.
    (a) and fuck it up
    (b) and give it back
    (c) put it in you
    (d) and throw it out
  10. Realize I don't want to be a(n) _________.
    (a) asshole
    (b) Republican
    (c) Klansman
    (d) miser
    (e) both b & d
  11. She only comes when _________.
    (a) she's got a lollipop
    (b) she's on top
    (c) when I wear a crew top
    (d) I call on the cell phone
    (e) she's sucking off the president
    (f) she's called (in a high pitched voice)
  12. Can I get [a]: _________
    (a) another Guinness
    (b) "Get some!"
    (c) my check
    (d) six pack?
Thanks for taking the Great Guinness Toast Examination. Please submit your "napkin" to the bartender, and please don't forget to GET SOME!