Halloween 2005

Well boys and girls...its been awhile, hasn't it? I haven't updated this travesty of a webpage in quite a while now, and surprisingly, a few people actually suggested i do it, as opposed to those who demand to tar and feather me and drag me through the streets after letting loose a pack of wild mongooses on my naked body (its happened before, and its none to pleasant, of that I can assure you). Anyway, I haven't updated in a while because A) I don't have a camera (its hard to make a website such as this without a camera when all anyone wants to do is look at pictures instead of reading vast amounts of my insane ramblings) and B) Frankly, I just don't like most of you very much. So anyway....back to Halloween, right? Well, the prospects at Pitt were rather disappointing as far as I know (which isn't all that far). So...Nick, Vanessa, Christine, Mike, and I all went to Slippery Rock! It was my first time there, and it really wasn't that slippery (my god I'm unfunny). Uhh...on to the pictures!

To make it appear as though this website isn't 99% about me, myself, and I...I'll show a picture of Mike first. As anyone who is approximately my age should be able to tell...he is obviously none other than the Karate Kid. His super authentic headband was crafted while watching the movie, and is an exact replica. Mike was our portable liqour cabinet for the night. His saggy right looking breast was a bottle of Crown Russe, and the saggy left breast was a half gallon of Captain Morgan. That's my arm attempting to suckle at his gloriusly angellic teat which bore the fermented gold of the sugar cane plant (that means i wanted a shot of rum).

So on to a picture of me (I know, you must have just wet yourself! I know I did! (It's a good thing I only thought that instead of typing it))! In case your having trouble telling, I dressed up as Davy Crockett (....you know....King of the Wild Frontier, a governer, and a guy who died in an old missionary in San Antonio)! I have on my Genuine (meaning fake) Coonskin Cap (on a side note, anyone ever been to Koonsville? No? Let's go sometime...it's a sweet little hick town in NEPA, only one bar, no gas station or other business), my sweet tasseled jacket and pants, plus my real leather moccasin bedroom slippers! It was uncomfortable and fit poorly, but that's what makes a costume great. Vanessa there is dressed up as an ambiguous slutty girl (that's what she told me, so don't yell at me!). Also, all of the pictures here were provided by her (I should have mentioned that at the top i suppose...).

So this is a first for my website...a picture of two hot chicks making out! I think the girl on the right was someone named Nicollet...something stupid like that. She was smoking hot, and had a nice rack...as illustrated in the next picture...

Mike and Brian licking Nicollet's hot boobs...I'll leave it at that.

The award for best costume goes to whomever is under that sheet. Obviously he is the doppelganger version of Pan (The Greek God (Pan...Pan...Greek God Pan! One Half Goat....the Other Half Maaaaaaaaaaaan!!!)).....what, you don't remember that song? Its a real goat head! So bravo to Pan!

So...at some point during the night the fog machine set off the fire alarm, and we all got to evacuate the building! It was the kind of cold that makes 7-8 people want to pile into my car and turn on the heater while risking asphyxiation. Below is Lindsay, Brian, Nick, Myself, and Vanessa. It would appear as though the fumes got to Brian by this point...

It looks like Nick's wig is falling off...I dunno, we were all drunk.

Mike licking Christine...(it's hard to write captions for some of these...so I wont try too hard...).

Uhh.....an upskirt shot of Nick. I don't apologize to any of you though. I saw the picture, so must you.

So eventually we were allowed back in, and the party resumed. Here's a picture of Christine, Mike, and Brian.

It's me with the two hottest women at the party!

Mike drove us all back to Pittsburgh at around 3am (and his careless and reckless driving almost caused me and my car great injury). My brain is slowing down...so i'll stop typing now. You know...I feel bad for tricking you with the fake girl-on-girl kiss above...something about it isn't right (though it is hilarious). So...i'll show one last picture below.

Happy now you perv? Jeez...