SEXUAL
VIOLENCE WITHIN MARRIAGE
Khan, M. E., John Townsend,
Ranjana Sinha and Seema Lakhanpal..
Sexual
violence within marriage. Centre for Operations Research and Training (CORT)
Vadodara
,
India
.
Uttar Pradesh
BACKGROUND
Till
recently the study of sexual behaviour was an untouchable subject in
India
. The sensitivity of the subject and difficulties in data collection
discouraged most social scientists from exploring this area of human
behaviour. With the rapid spread of AIDS in
India
, the study of sexual behaviour has gained importance and both national
and international agencies, as part of the AIDS control programme, are
encouraging research on sexual behaviour. Despite this, the few studies
that are available on the subject are mostly related to those who are at
high risk _ commercial sex workers and their clients, truck drivers and
migrant labourers.
Studies
on sexual behaviour of the general population, particularly those living
in rural areas are rare, while issues like sexual violence, which puts
women and adolescent girls are at high risk for unwanted pregnancies, STD
and HIV/AIDS, are almost completely overlooked. This paper attempts to
look into women's experiences of sexual coercion and violence within
marriage.
OBJECTIVES AND METHODOLOGY
The
present study was a part of an in-depth qualitative study carried out by
the CORT on women's decision-making when faced with an unwanted pregnancy
and the factors that influence their decision for seeking abortion. The
study was conducted in two villages in central Uttar Pradesh. Using a
systematic random sampling method, women in every fifth house in the
village were selected for the study. Detailed data was collected on
unwanted pregnancy, abortion seeking behaviour, contraception and sexual
behaviour including sexual abuse. A total of 122 currently married women
were informally interviewed, which was spread over several visits. On an
average the Research Assistants who were extensively trained in
qualitative research, spent 8-10 hours with every informant to collect all
the relevant data. Of the 122 informants, 115 answered questions on sexual
behaviour.
KEY
FINDINGS
All
women were married before they attained puberty. However in most cases
(103 out of 115), gauna (cohabitation) took place only after the women had
started menstruating. Most of them came to know about menstruation only
after they experienced their first period, and few women understood its
relevance to marriage and childbirth.
"I
was married when I was just 13 years old. My period started just a day
before my marriage took place. I did not know what was happening to me,
when I saw the bleeding, I got very scared and started crying and told my
mother_,At that time how do I to know how it was related to marriage or
pregnancy? Nobody told me." _ a 21-year-old, illiterate woman.
Table
1: Knowledge of women at the time of their `gauna' about sex and
reproduction:
Reproductive
knowledge
Sex
life which takes place after marriage Did Women have knowledge?
YES-18
NO- 82 TOTAL- 115
How
a woman becomes pregnant?
YES-4
NO- 96 TOTAL- 115
How
a woman delivers a child?
YES-4
NO- 96 TOTAL- 115
At
the time of their marriage, most women were ignorant about sex life, pregnancy
and delivery (table 1) and were mentally unprepared for the experience.
The few who reported they had vague idea about life after marriage from
other married relatives were
mostly told to fulfil all their husbands' demands.
"I
had a vague idea about the sexual relationship. My bhabhi (brother's wife)
told me a little about it before my gauna. She said that this was an
inevitable part of a man-woman relationship after marriage. She also
advised me to do whatever he says and that I should not say `no' to him
any time. I would say that my bhabhi tried to prepare me mentally about
things, which happen after marriage. Still I felt so embarrassed. It was
painful and I hated it...I cried a lot when he left the room." _ a
19-year-old woman, educated up to class 7.
For
many, the first sexual encounter was frightening and forced, as they were
not prepared for it and most of them were very young girls in an
unfamiliar place and with unfamiliar people. Moreover, social pressure
also work to immediately consummate the marriage and start a family.
"When
I first came in contact (had intercourse) with my husband, I knew nothing
about sex. I was sleeping with my jethani (wife of husbands' elder
brother), when she left the room and sent my husband in. I was embarrassed
and just ran away to my mother-in-law.
Then
both my jethani and mother-in-law pushed me into the room by force and
locked the door from outside." _ a 32-year-old, illiterate mother of
four.
The
frequency of intercourse was on an average 3-4 times a week for young
women aged 15-20 years (or those who were married for less than 5 years).
It declined with age as it dropped to 1-2 times a week for women aged
26-30 and 31-35, but increased to twice a week for women aged 36 years and
more. Probing revealed that older husbands, who are less busy with work,
seek sexual relations more frequently.
Out of 115 women, 98 answered questions on sexual coercion. Of these 67
(68 percent) women reported sexual coercion _ 21 percent reported physical
violence, 14 percent reported anger, while the remaining 32 percent did
not provide further details. Whenever
women refused sex, their husbands' reaction was mostly to remind them
angrily - "What else have I married you for?" "What good
are you? If you cannot do this much for me_!" or threaten to go to
other women or to tell the women to go back to their natal home. Majority
of the women (70 percent) submitted to their husbands' demand for sex,
either out of fear that their husbands would act on these threats or out
of a sense of duty that they should `serve' their husbands. It was also
found that more women submitted to their husbands' demand if their
husbands reacted violently.
While a majority of women submit to their husband's wish, 30 percent were
generally able to resist sexual coercion by their husbands. The protective
mechanisms include: a threat to start screaming, "endangering his
prestige", threatening suicide, if forced to have sex, waking up
young children who generally sleep with them and reporting false or
prolonged menstrual period (see box).
How
Women Resist Coercion
"When
I try to resist, he hits me with whatever he can lay his hands on. But
when I say, if I start yelling and screaming, what respect will you have
left? He leaves me. He wouldn't do it at the risk of his reputation."
-
21-year-old woman, educated up to class 3
"He
gets angry, but he can't force me now. Whenever I see what he's up to and
I am not in a mood, I wake my child up. As it is, I make him sleep between
us. What can he do? Earlier when he used force, I couldn't do
anything."
-
25-year-old, illiterate woman
"Sometimes
I stop him by lying that I have a prolonged menstruation. He just
gets angry and leaves me alone but sulks and doesn't talk of days."
-
30-year-old, illiterate woman
Generally
refusal to yield to husband's coercion is found from relatively younger
women, but not before having spent a few years (3 or more) of married
life. In the initial stage of their married life, they were helpless.
According to them, it was the only way to get the closeness and support of
their husbands in their in-laws' house, which is traditionally known for
being difficult and demanding of daughters-in-law.
Often
women's resistance to sex, and the resultant sexual violence stem from
their fear of unwanted pregnancy. It was found that most of the women
reporting sexual violence from their husbands had experienced one or two
unwanted pregnancies.
RECOMMENDATIONS
The
first, immediate, and perhaps the most important measure would be to
introduce family life education through different channels and forums to
prepare adolescent boys and girls for married life, reproduction and
contraception. Such education should address gender issues, particularly
violence and sexual coercion. At the same time there is a need to change
the attitudes of communities and families regarding the gender and
reproductive roles of women and their rights.
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